incredible sadness...

A very good friend’s husband died last Tuesday, September 5th. I just found out about it yesterday, through an email she sent me. I knew it was coming…probably sooner, than later. The doctors found brain tumors in him just a few months ago, and the cancer spread throughout his body rapidly. The progression of it all was unbelievably swift…hell, swift to me—how much more so did it feel to his wife, my friend, Linda???

There was a “Guest Book” in the obituary section of the newspaper website for him, and I posted a message to Linda, telling her how very sorry I was, and saying something about the fact that God was ready to bring Larry home. My friend is a woman of deep, convicted faith. She lives her life as she knows Jesus would want her to. But do these statements from friends, church members she’s close to, friends who share her faith in God…these statements that all basically say, “he’s in a better place now”…does she just want to scream that she doesn’t care about all that?!? That all she wants is her husband back…healthy and whole again?? I don’t know, but I think I would. I believe in God; I believe in my Lord, Jesus Christ; I believe in heaven. Having said all that, I also believe that I would probably be screaming in these circumstances! How unfair this is! How could he be taken from my friend and his family & loved ones at the young age of 66? Why is it him that gets plucked off this earth, leaving behind people who are now agonizing and bereft of his presence? I didn’t know Larry well, just what I knew about him through Linda. I had met him a few times, and he seemed to be a man of great emotional and spiritual strength, a rock for his family, somebody I respected for what I knew about him. I can’t imagine the void it leaves in his family now that he’s gone.

My own internal struggle today is embarrassing to admit…even to myself. I haven’t emailed Linda back yet to say how sorry I am. I at least need to do that!! What I really need to do is pick up the phone and call her. But I’m scared. Yeah, what a coward I am. Did you ever have to do something as an adult that took you back to how you felt when you were a kid…when you had to do something that was going to be uncomfortable, when you didn’t know what to say, when you were afraid you were going to blow it?? That’s how I feel right now. Damn it, I need to call her TODAY! This isn’t something that I can let wait. I need to be the grownup, and do what is right and call Linda and tell her how sorry I am, to ask her what I can do (which, of course, she will say is nothing), and at least let her know that I’m thinking of her. That’s what friends do!!! I know that if it were me, I would expect…yeah, and probably want…her to do that for me. So, I will. What the hell am I going to say to her….

Life is precious and the people we love can disappear in an instant. Hug your family, don’t take them for granted, tell people you love them…especially your kids, every chance you get. And thank God every day that you’re alive.

Luv to all—
Daffodil

you met who??

Ever talk to someone who’s about to attend a high school reunion…perhaps they’re single/divorced/whatever, and the comment of “hey, maybe I’ll meet someone at the reunion!” is tossed around among friends…but no one really expects that to happen. Well, guess what?? It did to me!! I’d have told you that you were crazy if you really thought that might happen…but it did! This is a guy who I really didn’t know that well in high school. We knew of each other, but we weren’t in the same circle of friends. We just happened to strike up a conversation at the reunion, enjoyed each other’s company, and at the end of the night, he asked me if I might be interested in getting together. I think I really surprised him by saying yes! And when he said he’d call me, he really did! We went to dinner the next night, and have been dating ever since.

He’s WONDERFUL, and I have to admit that I am totally smitten! In a lot of ways, we’re very different from each other. But in a lot of other ways, we are so alike. Maybe the differences are the “opposites attract” part! I love spending time with him, and I think he feels the same way. I know, I know…take it easy, take it slow…don’t get ahead of yourself. But it just feels so right, I can’t help myself. And shoot, he’s even nice to my dog!! What more can you ask for?? LOL ;-)

It’s funny, because after the breakup of my last relationship, I was fine with being alone…being by myself. It all ended up being too much, too soon, and then not right and something I had to end. I told myself not to rush into anything, to take my time, to just breathe for a while and go with the flow. Well, surprisingly enough, the flow brought this new man into my life. And it’s pretty great! It’s only been about six weeks since we started seeing each other, but in some ways it seems like it’s been much longer. And it’s nice, comfortable, but with all the neat stuff that the newness of a relationship brings too. How did I get this lucky? Hmm, God works in mysterious ways!!

Well, that’s enough for now. I’ll try to post again soon…with any exciting new updates in this relationship! Stay tuned!! And keep on breathin’ my friends…life is good!

Daffodil